One good thing was I got to enjoy my vacation since I knew I was going to get my period. I went to Coachella with a bunch of friends. We rented a nice house with a pool and hot tub. Needless to say, I decided I was going to go swimming and drink margaritas by the pool. I guess it was my way of saying 'to hell with you', whatever 'you' was. The small mind games I play to make myself feel better. I got to get my day 3 labs drawn while on vacation, but at least they had labs down there I could go to. I had been worrying that my labs wouldn't be good due to being on clomid for so many months. I needed them to be normal so that I could apply for the Attain program which basically is like a prepaid insurance plan for IVF. I pay up front a set amount for the opportunity to do 3 fresh and 3 frozen cycles. The catch is, if I succeed the first time, I pay much more for the IVF, but if it takes up to 3 times I save money. If I don't get pregnant at all, I get a percentage back. More on that plan later.
I get back to work and all the same stresses come back. It is hard to see pregnant women everywhere. When you work in a hospital, there is a large proportion of staff that is female and of course a lot of them are pregnant. Even my supervisor is pregnant again and she is 6+ years older than me. It is hard for me to be happy for people. It is just a reminder of how difficult my journey has been and will be. I guess I shouldn't complain (yet) since the true hell has not even begun.
I went to an injection class a few days ago which was a bit nerve wracking. I didn't get to inject myself, but I learned to mix the medication and injected a rubber tummy. I got some drugs from my coworker who did injectables, so I have something to be thankful for. This is saving me several hundred dollars, but I am still going to have to pay $1700 for the rest. My husband came to learn too, hopefully he will be able to do the IM shots on me.
I paid for the Attain program on Friday. It was hard to charge $23000 on the credit cards. So much for the savings account. At least I got accepted. I kind of knew that I would considering I am a "terrific" candidate. The scam of the whole thing is, I bet if you had crappier labs, or something wrong with you, they would deny you right away. Me, I have nothing wrong so I am more likely to succeed earlier, thus they make more money off of me. Oh well, right. To reduce any stress is worth it (I think).
