I never thought I would be where I am today. I spent most of my life worrying about getting pregnant and now it is consumed with worrying about not getting pregnant. This arduous process began 15 months ago when my husband and I finally decided it was time to have kids. We've been married for 8 years plus. I guess having children was not a priority in our 20s. Then moving around the country made timing an issue.
The first couple of months are exciting...you think it could happen anytime. I had been on the pill for 13 years of my life and knew that it would take time for my body to adjust. My friend recommended the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" which really opened my eyes to BBTs, cervical mucus, etc. I was amazed at how much I didn't know about my menstrual cycle. Doing the BBTs only helped establish a pattern, but was not good for predicting when I was going to ovulate. As it so happens, I realized that I wasn't ovulating the typical day 14, in fact, it was more like day 19 or day 25. I started to get worried, which is quite a normal feeling for me. I made an appointment with my PCP and she didn't seem very alarmed since it had only been 6 months of trying, but referred me to a OB/GYN. Of course, getting an appointment was difficult (blame the HMO?). I had to wait another couple of months to see a specialist. I doled out the money for a clearblue fertility monitor. $150 plus test sticks. I thought, I should have gotten it earlier.
The OB/GYN was aggressive at least. She knew that I was concerned and started off right away with blood work and ultrasounds. I went for an HSG which turned out to be normal. The things that choked me up the most was the insurance company not covering much. They would only cover partial of somethings (like my HSG, ultrasound, tests). I guess I should be thankful for that much, but it still would make the credit card bill go up for the next statement. Nothing wrong. I even started seeing a psychologist since stress is always touted as a cause for infertility.
I was placed on 50mg of Clomid. Thank goodness it qualified for coverage under my drug plan. $5 seemed like a bargain. The first U/S indicated not much development of my follicles on day 13. So, my dose was increased to 100mg. I was scared since the first dose of 50mg gave me hot flashes the first night. It felt like I had uncontrolled temperatures ranging from cold to hot. The bad thing about going through an OB/GYN is that they are strictly a M-F option. So, add the stress trying to figure out timing so that hopefully day 13 doesn't happen on a weekend to the stress of taking medicine and trying to get pregnant. Not fun. I've never used a calendar so much. So, of course that month fell on a weekend, but I thought, no problem, let's see what happens naturally. Nothing.
The next month, started the clomid again and realized that day 13 was Dec. 30th with day 14 being December 31st. Well, I spent my New Year's eve getting an IUI done. Me and catheters into the cervix don't get along. The MD was having difficulty getting it in easily, so they needed to use a tenaculum to keep the cervix open. It started reminding me of the HSG all over again. That month was a bust to our disappointment.
Next month, same thing. Clomid, U/S, trigger shot, IUI, negative. I started going for acupuncture. Why not, I was doing everything else. My insurance covers some acupuncture, but the one acupuncturist I went to (on the list of approved providers), seemed unorganized and a little shady. He operated out of a salon and didn't have a really good set up. I felt like everything was makeshift, and was concerned about sterilization etc. So, I decided that I would fork over the money for an acupuncturist who specialized in infertility. This was going to cost a lot of money, since they were not approved. I'll try anything.
Acupuncture is interesting. The first few times I did it, I was a little stressed. I felt like if I moved the needle would start to dig in deeper or dislodge. So, it was hard to relax since I was focusing on not moving a muscle. Now, I have fallen asleep during it (never while they're inserting the needles, I still have moments of fear). Has it been working? I can't say for sure. I haven't gotten pregnant and I've been on drugs to get my ovulation going. I guess I will find out this month, since I am going au natural. I even started taking herbs and doing some dietary changes which is a big thing for me, since I am a RD and want science backing up everything. I am to give in to putting science behind, I am becoming desperate.
The final round of clomid was 150mg. It produced 2 decent sized follicles. I felt like this was the last chance before moving on, so I was quite anxious. It fell on a Saturday, but they were willing to do it on the weekend. I didn't know that they moved locations for Saturday appointments, so we ended up driving to the usual office with "sample" in hand. I panicked to say the least, but got to the right office. Unbelievable, the worst time for that to happen. The IUI went fine, but alas no success. What is wrong with me??? Next IVF on the agenda.
